Resources
Child loss is not something any parent should have to experience. Whether you are a bereaved parent or you are supporting a grieving family, it is so difficult to navigate alone. I have compiled some resources here that may help you through this process.
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Adults
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand. Megan Devine (2017)Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child. Gary Roe. (2017)
Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss. Emily Long (2016)
Holding on to Love After You’ve Lost a Baby. Gary Chapman & Candy McVicar (2020)
Grieving the Child I Never Knew. Kathe Wunnenberg (2015)
How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed. Megan Devine (2021)
Getting Grief Right. Patrick O’Malley (2017)
Welcome to the Grief Club. Janine Kwoh. (2022)
Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back. Kelly Farley and David DiCola (2012)
Children
Old and New Friends. Casey Martin. (2020)Some Babies. Holly Ann Abel (2021)
Something Happened. Cathy Blanford. (2019)
The Invisible String. Patrice Karst .(2018)
What Cloud is My Sister In? Kim Vesey. (2022)
My Sibling Still. Megan Lacourrege. (2019)
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Listed below are some shops run by loss moms. These make perfect gifts and are also ways to support fellow bereaved families.
-Harper’s Angel Bears -Cradling Memories
-Lincoln’s Bunnies
-LaurelBox
-Hope Again Collective
-Mother of Wilde
-Zoe Faith Inc.
-Heavenly Fawn
-Day of Hope Designs
-Courage in Time -
There are no answers and no way to fix their grief. All you can do is offer support.
-”I am so sorry. There is nothing I can do or say to make this better. But I am here to listen and support you”
-” I hate that you are going through this. It’s so unfair”
-”I would love to hear more about (Insert childs name) when you are ready to talk”
-”Take all the time you need.”
In early grief, a lot of bereaved parents don’t know what they need. They can’t think straight. If you are in their closest circle, make sure they are eating, sleeping, showering and they have a clean space. If that means bringing them meals, groceries and household items, do it. Don’t ask. If it means taking their other children so they can get some rest. Do it. I know it will mean the world to them, even if they can’t express it right away. Just show up. -
-”You can always try again” Would you say this to someone who lost a parent, a spouse, a grandparent? Babies and children are not replaceable. Yes, they may have another child, but believe me when I say, they will always grieve the child they lost.
-”You’re never given more than you can handle”. A lot of people believe this is biblical, but it’s actually misquoted scripture. The verse says: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. It’s actually about being tempted, not hardships.
-”You’re baby/child is in a better place” . While some people find comfort in believing their baby is in heaven, not everyone has the same beliefs. And as a parent, we selfishly want them here with us.
-”At Least…” Nothing makes this situation better. Nothing that follows “at least” will be comforting.